Sex sells so this rant is about sex, or lack thereof on my part
Remember when you a horny little teenager and all you could think about was sex? You thought about sex night and day, you carried textbooks in front of your trousers as to hide the constant boner you had going, in school it was hard to concentrate on class because some girl next to you was smelling oh so good that day. I remember those days as well. I remember thinking that it must be great to be married because you can have sex any time you want it! How cool would that be?
So you set out each day at school and if you didn’t have a girlfriend you tried like hell to find one. I was a late bloomer and did not lose my virginity until I was 16, and even then I lost it with my long-time girlfriend named Melinda. As first romances go it was not bad at all. Melinda was cute and smart and she was fun to be with except for the fact that her parents hated me. Why? Because I lived on the wrong side of Lake Street. they liked the boy she ended up marrying, the one who lived on the right side of Lake Street and who was fired from his job for stealing. He was OK.
Where was I? Oh yes, sex.
So I grew up thinking that I would be getting as much if not more sex than when I was 16. After I broke up with Melinda I did get to have sex with different women and it was fantastic! Each one was a mystery, even though they all had the same equipment. Some are louder, some are quiet, some like kissing and making out and some didn’t. I know that I was looking for sex a lot more than I was getting it and that was the reason for thinking I would be having sex like a bonobo monkey once I got married.
Well time went on and I found someone who I did want to marry. She was fun and cute and smart and we always had fun together. We dated for a few years before we got married and then we also lived together for about six months before we got married. And yes, we were having sex like crazy.
You get older and they tell you your sex drive will diminish.
That is a lie. At least for this guy. This guy still wants sex morning, noon and night but it hasn’t quite worked out the way I had planned. I masturbate every day (TMI?) and it never gets old. I wish my wife liked sex as much as I do. I don’t know if it because of her Catholic upbringing or she may simply not be a person who needs touch and sex like I do. I love her like crazy but it would be great to get sex more than once a year (if I am lucky). I know that life and kids get in the way, I understand that, but still…throw the dog a bone here, so to speak.
So if any of you are married I promise you that you know what I mean. I hear it from my friends too. If you are not married the grass is not always greener when it comes to sex. There is a huge upside to marriage, so I complain but a little. Plus I am a man who knows how to take care of his business. If sex is the business (and masturbation is sex) then business is good!